Make Stress your Friend, not your Enemy.

Mike Fisher, Europe's foremost Guru on Anger and Stress sent me a link to a video the other day which has opened my eyes to the way I see stress.

For too long I've been looking for methods and techniques which will beat my stress into submission. I've been told that chronic stress is bad for my health, that it leads to insomnia, high blood pressure and depression, amongst many more symptoms I could mention. If ever I feel my anger rising, I've been taught to relax and count to ten, 'Imagine yourself on a desert island with the warm surf lapping at your feet', a stress expert would recite on youtube as he beckons the audience to close their eyes and feel the stress recede.

And then along comes a pretty lady who blows it all away.

Health psychologist Kelly McGonigal is seen delivering a TED Global sponsored talk to a packed audience in Edinburgh.

After opening with her fear that she's been teaching a method of beating stress over the last ten years, which “has been doing more harm than good,” she lays it on the line, “I’ve changed my mind about stress, and today I want to change yours.”

She cites scientists from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, who have shown that the 'perception' of stress effects health. Hence, thinking that stress is bad for you makes it bad for you.

For example if someone is making a life style choice between a stressful job and a not so stressful job, it doesn't matter which way they go. It is in fact equally wise to choose the stressful job so long as you believe you can handle the stress that comes with it.

The study reveals that over the eight years of the survey, 182,000 people died prematurely from the belief that stress was bad for them. This in itself, as Kelly reminds us, makes the sheer act of 'Belief' the 15th largest cause of death in the United States.

She drives home her point with, “When you choose to view your stress response as helpful, you create the biology of courage, and when you choose to connect with others under stress you create resilience.”

“Stress gives us access to our hearts, the compassionate heart that finds joy and meaning connecting with others. Your pounding beating heart working so hard to give you energy and when you choose to view stress in this way, you're not just getting better at stress, you are actually making a pretty profound statement. You're saying that you can trust yourself to handle life's challenges and you're remembering that you don't have to face them alone.”

Her passionate words of 'connecting with others' to get better at stress reminds me of Mike Fisher's free webinars which are now on.

He's inviting anyone with anger and stress issues to join him for a FREE 1 HOUR webinar on Thursday 12^th September and Thursday 26^th September 2013 between 7pm-8pm. Mark the dates on your calender NOW.

Mike's webinar is an introduction to understand how stress fuels anger and left unchecked turns into rage and fury.

Book yourself a space now by clicking on the link below. See Mike in action and use the opportunity to decide whether or not you or anyone else, needs to attend one of BAAM's many courses across the UK.

Mike Fisher founder of the British Association of Anger Management (BAAM) has a wealth of experience and knowledge in helping you beat anger. Take the first step by booking your free one hour webinar today!

If you liked this post, Mike will be thrilled if you’d share it with any friends who might find it useful. You can tweet it, Google + or you can share it on Facebook or by email by copying this link: http://www.beatinganger.com/free-webinar

You can also check out www.stressexperts.co.uk and www.angerguru.com to learn more about Mike Fisher and what BAAM has to offer.

Is Stress Making You Fat?

Stress Eating!!

Recent scientific studies have shown that stress has a direct result on weight, be it over eating or under-eating. Experiments on volunteers at the Cambridge University found serotonin levels affect the amygdale region in the brain, which makes us angry.

The experiments involved recording the brain’s reaction while viewing angry, sad and neutral facial expressions. Feed with diets which either raised the level of serotonin, or lowered it, they were able to conclude that when the body starts to feel hungry, levels of serotonin fall, causing a flux of emotions to burst forward from the amygdale part of the brain which causes us to become anxious, stressed and angry.

The conclusion is quite simple really. To stop your serotonin levels from falling and as a consequence, making us angry and stressed, stock up on foods which boost the serotonin levels, such as pumpkin seeds, walnuts, avocado, dates and bananas.

Making the right food choices?

At a recent British Association of Anger Management intensive weekend course, Mike Fisher commented that all the biscuits were being eaten, while all the fruit wasn’t. This is predictable because when stressed, the body craves food that is high in fat or sugar.

Serotonin is a chemical which makes your body feel good, and this is exactly what we want to feel when we are stressed, angry and depressed. All too often, we’ll reach for the carbohydrates in the form of muffins, doughnuts and biscuits to comfort ourselves, when we should be reaching for fruit and nuts. This is where the conflict arises. When we are stressed we don’t make the best choices and this includes what we eat.

Getting angry and stressed takes up a lot of energy and we eat into our natural reserves. As stress is being linked with weight issues, we need a greater understanding of the connection between stress and weight to combat the obesity epidemic facing the country.

Stress is a part of modern day life and by understanding the mechanics of our minds and bodies, we are more equipped to deal with our stress and see it for what it really is.

What is the connection between stress and blood sugar?

When we are stressed our body works overtime to cope, by releasing a mixture of hormones, namely epinephrine and adrenaline, which gives us the energy to reach the end of the day.

The body also releases glucose which is of special interest to diabetics, because for diabetics the amount of glucose in their blood is too high.

Even though stress hasn’t been proven to cause diabetes, it has been proven to trigger changes in blood sugar levels which can be a problem for people with diabetes.

Mental or emotional stress has mixed effects, depending on the type of diabetes you have. For type 1 diabetes, mental stress can increase or decrease blood sugar levels and for type 2 diabetes, mental stress generally increases blood sugar levels.

Dealing with your stress?

It’s now evident that dealing with stress is the biggest obstacle we have in finding our inner peace and happiness. Stress comes at us from all angles and it’s only natural that the challenge may seem daunting.

But think again: Other than regular exercise, mediation and Mike Fisher’s intensive weekend courses; your diet can play the ultimate role in reducing stress.

Like millions in the UK, we reach for high-fat, high-sugar snacks when we’re feeling down. But don’t think you are alone in doing so. You aren’t. We are all prone to comfort eating.

The good news is that you now have the information to break the cycle and to break the habit.

It really is as simple as making better food choices.

Find out further how to minimize the stress in your life by visiting Mike Fisher’s British Association of Anger Management websites such aswww.angermanage.co.uk, www.stressexperts.co.uk and www.beatinganger.com.

By focusing on your diet and the choices you make when you are angry and stressed, you can change your life, beat stress and keep your figure in shape.

Alcohol and Stress: a Lethal Combination?

Think again before having a drink to ease your stresses away.

Is a glass of wine or a pint of beer the best way to deal with stress?

Every evening across Britain, millions of couples will settle down on the sofa, after a hard day’s work, from either looking after children or tolerating their bosses, to enjoy a glass of wine or a pint of beer to while away the day’s stresses and strains.

But is it doing more harm than good?

While a glass of wine and a pint of beer may make you feel relaxed; too much, often leads to exacerbating the stress, which you hoped to ease in the first place. Have you noticed that nearly every argument you may have with your partner, originates after drinking a glass or three of alcohol?

Alcohol is classified as a depressant, which slows down the brain and the central nervous system’s processes. We feel the effects as being tipsy and merry, but nothing could be further from the truth.

Ask any nurse or policeman who’s worked a weekend shift. The majority of accident and emergency admissions are alcohol related and the same applies to crime and order. Alcohol plays a part in half of all reported murder, rapes and assaults.

The evidence is clear. Alcohol enhances your stress and often, with too much, pushes you over the edge.

The morning after.

Waking up with a thumping head-ache, while having to get the children to school and yourself at work, is an often over-looked consequence of drinking the night before.

The vicious circle starts all over again. Some settle for the ‘Hair of the Dog’, while others take refuge in bed, eating and generally laying on the sofa, to detoxify and regain the strength to tackle the day ahead.

Don’t avoid the issues.

Having a drink is basically an avoidance strategy. Its gives you the time and space to put aside the issues which are making you stressed in the first place. After all, isn’t it best to confront your boss about your working conditions, rather than take your frustrations out at home?

Isn’t it best to talk to someone about what’s worrying you, rather than bottling it up and inadvertently, by using alcohol, make you explode?

Only by sharing your problems can you come up with solutions. We’ve all heard of the aged old saying, ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’, its true, it helps.

Alcohol is not the answer.

As Mike Fisher from the British Association for Anger Management is fully aware, alcohol does more harm than good.

‘Manage your drinking habits responsibly,’ says Mike Fisher, ‘increased levels of drinking – wine or any other kind, is partly to blame for lower self-esteem and problems within relationships.’

‘Alcohol significantly impairs brain function; your thoughts and reactions become slower. People are more likely to misread social cues and have an inability to consider the consequences of actions that they may well regret when in a sober state of mind.’

Worried about someone you know or yourself?

Ask yourself two questions:

1.Do people tell you that you become aggressive when drunk? If more than three people tell you that, you need to take heed and do something about it.

2.Do you find yourself becoming aggressive or thinking negative thoughts when drunk? That’s an indication that there is suppressed anger there.

With drinking such an ingrained part of our culture, is there a solution?

‘Yes there is,’ answers Mike Fisher – ‘Responsible drinking.’

“I have clients who know that when they get drunk, they have problems with their anger. So, many have quit drinking to get their anger under control and feel all the better for it – on so many levels. It’s a huge concern but alcohol and anger can be a recipe for disaster so people should really watch their drinking.”

What to do?

Contact Mike Fisher from The British Association of Anger Management. He provides support programmes and training for interested individuals or groups. Check out such website as www.angermanage.co.uk, www.stressexperts.co.uk and www.beatinganger.com for more information.

Are you a bully like Charles Saatchi?

Charles Saatchi, the 70 year old art collector and co-founder of the famous Saatchi & Saatchi advertising agency, has opened the doors of his private life to tell the world he’s divorcing his wife of 10 years, Nigella Lawson.

Whether opening the doors into his private life was intentional or not, they were blown apart, after shocking pictures of him grasping his wife’s throat were splashed across the front-pages 4 weeks ago.

The pictures bring into focus the taboo subject of domestic abuse, illustrating the shocking truth, that even a ‘Domestic Goddess’ of Nigella’s stature, can be a victim. But what else does it say about the millions of men who bully their partners on a daily basis?

 At the most extreme, one woman is killed through domestic abuse every three days. It accounts for nearly a quarter of all reported crime and one in four women will be a victim of domestic abuse at sometime in their lives.

This doesn’t even begin to touch upon the impact domestic abuse has on children and as a consequence, the future of an entire nation. The facts speak for themselves; a large section of men across the country would have looked at the Charles and Nigella picture and thought she deserved it.

Mike Fisher from the British Association of Anger Management has over 16 years experience in the field of personal and professional development with a focus on stress and anger and knows better than anyone the impact abuse has on people’s lives.

He says ‘We recognize that a very high percentage of both men women and children who came to us especially for anger management suffered from very high levels of stress. As Director and CEO of Stress Experts, Beating Anger & Anger Guru, he’s developed a one day and two day workshops, focusing on ‘Beating Stress’ born out of anger management programs honed over 26 years of experience.

He says ‘Stressexperts’ is designed for anyone who recognizes they are experiencing very high levels of stress which eventually turn into anger, frustration and fury.’

It’s not marriage guidance which Charles and Nigella need, its Mike Fisher.

Stress and anger affect all walks of life

Stress and anger is a part of our makeup.  After all, isn’t it just the secretion of chemicals and hormones within the body that determine whether we fight or take flight?

Charles Saatchi was punished with a police caution. Whether police cautions are effective deterrents against domestic abuse is debatable, but you can be sure they won’t succeed in addressing the issues of why a man assaults a women in the first place.

It just goes to show, the rich and famous aren’t the only victims of domestic abuse, stress and anger. Saatchi says in his statement ‘I abhor violence of any kind against women and have never abused her physically in any way,’ dismissing the incident as nothing more than a ‘Playful tiff’.

He goes on to say how disappointed he was that Nigella failed to make a public statement backing up his non-violent credentials. Perhaps Nigella’s continuing silence, illustrates perfectly that this wasn’t the first time. That in fact, it’s the latest in a long line of assaults she’s endured, both in public and private. Though Saatchi reiterates ‘I must stress again my actions were not violent.’

Perhaps we shouldn’t throw stones in glass houses and give Charles Saatchi the benefit of the doubt. The stress and strain of life can push anyone to the limits of their anger. If looking at the picture made you think about your own relationship, help is at hand.

Mike Fisher from British Association of Anger Management is only a phone call away, and as a Guru on the subject he welcomes your call.

Check out the www.stressexperts.co.uk and www.beatinganger.com websites and stop bullying, full stop.