Sunday, 31 January 2016

AVALON TELEVISION WRITER APPLICATION.


Avalon television have invited submissions from comedy writers for a new satire show to be hosted by Matt Forde. The deadline is 31st January, full submissions brief below.
SUBMISSIONS BRIEF
We are making a pilot for a new satire show for BBC Two called Unspun. It will be a mix of political guests, jokes and special features. We’re looking for people to join us making the show; creating content, writing material and coming up with ideas for show features. If that sounds like the kind of thing you’re into then we’d like to hear from you. If you are a writer or writer/performer then we’d like you to get involved. There are opportunities for both writers and performers on the show. If you’d like to be considered then please send us the following two things: 1. A side of A4 topical writing which gives us a flavour of your writing style, personality, interest in politics and popular culture.
This is completely open to your interpretation so long as it’s topical, we don’t mind what form you use. We are looking for both strong humour and an understanding of how to structure your bits so please do make whatever you do have shape. 2. Two ideas that you think would fit well in this satire based show.
These would be a self-contained section that would occur in every episode across a series. The best versions of these are original and most importantly, simple. In tone these ideas can be as ‘straight’ or as silly as you like. It’s up to you.
We are not interested in previous work, experience, or any of that: These are blind submissions We are looking for the people who best fit this show so it’s important we get a feel for your style. Don’t try to second-guess what tone this show will be; make things in your voice. Please send your submissions to info@avalonuk.com by the closing date of January 31, 2016.

I would dearly love to be apart of the new satire show produced by Avalon Television. It'll be a dream come true. I can't even begin to describe how I'd feel and react if I had the opportunity to write for a cutting edge political satire show, but I'll try- I expect every single atom in my body would tingle and then literally explode with excitement.

I've been a Royal Military Policeman and know how to conduct myself, even though my criticism of political and royal figures is scathing and even treasonous. I'm more than capable of toning myself down to appease the BBC management and a semi-compliant audience.

Let me put it into perceptive; the last 3 jobs I've applied for are:

  • £18K a year Recruitment Consultant for the Health Industry.
  • £35K a year Bid Writing for the Construction Industry.
  • £85K a year Police Crime Commissioner for the Public/Government Sector.

Alas I never got the £18K a year recruitment job. Their excuse was that my evident passion for writing make me unsuitable and that I should stick with my dream of for writing for a living.

Writing for a satirical political show is my dream. Please make my dream come true.

ABOUT ME.

I really got active in politics in 1997 following the landslide Labour victory under Tony Blair. I was living in a flat with my mother in Hove and we were totally broke, on the verge of starvation and desperate for a saviour to come into our lives and show us the path to salvation.

I remember looking at an empty page of paper and asking God to give me the answer to our predicament. God responded by pointing his finger at me saying, “You are the answer you've been looking for. If anyone is going to get you out of this mess its going to be you.”

It was then and there that I resolved to start a political party. The goal was to save our society and save myself in the process. That day the SOS (Save Our Society) Party started and giving myself 20 years to make a success of it, I'm still going today.

Since then I've gone from strength to strength, ticking the boxes along the way. Deciding from the outset to be unlike any other politician in the world, I vowed to use comedy and entertainment to win votes and fans alike.

In 2012 I stood in the Sussex Police and Crime Commissioner elections in which I caused quite a stir vowing to sack the Chief Constable if I was elected. Sadly I had to pull out at the 11th hour, but having participated at 7 hustings I did enough to get my message across and my name known.


In 2015 I stood as an independent parliamentary candidate in Brighton Kemptown election and came last with 69 votes. I'm not disheartened though. Everything that could go wrong went wrong and having been sabotaged by dark forces I'm proud of how I conducted myself and how I reacted to adversity.

This year I'm standing in the Police and Crime Commissioner election again. According to the 20 year plan I set myself in 1997, this will be my last election. Already I'm causing a stir. Even I can't believe my luck having called the Chief Constable of Sussex Police and the Sussex Police and Crime Commissioner Katy Bourne liars. (Truth is on my side) I haven't been arrested yet!

Suffice to say I'm a controversial figure. Having written for Guerrilla Democracy News for the last 3 years, reporting on false flag events, Chris Spivey and the Alternative community; you'll really have to read my stuff to appreciate just how controversial I've been.


My claim to fame and the one article which went viral (resulting in phone calls being made to 10 Downing Street and Buckingham Palace asking whether its true) was the article “Matt Taylor orders the immediate arrest of David Cameron and The Queen.”


TWO COMEDY IDEAS FOR THE SHOW.

IDEA ONE:

Using the simple format of the Talking Fruit craze- a 30 second snap joke of the topic of the day. Take for example these I've produced lambasting David Cameron, George Osborne and Iain Duncan Smith.

David Cameron – Pig-Gate Scandal.

George Osborne – Cocaine cocaine.

Iain Duncan Smith – I care about poor people.

IDEA TWO:

Behind closed doors. Once a public presentation has finished both David Cameron and George Osborne enter a private room and the black oak doors close behind them. The scenario is that their microphones are still recording and we can hear what they're saying.

David: God, thank gosh that's over. Its so tiresome having to explain myself to those peasants.

George: Oh David you darling. You are so masterful. No one could do it as good as you.

David: Oh do get your nose out from my buttocks Gideon. I still don't see why you didn't have to deal with the Google fiasco.

George: You know why David. Mumsy wants you to face the music considering the – You know what!

David: Yes yes, we all know about that. I do wish the old bat stops going on about it.

George: Be careful Dave; you know these walls have ears.

David: Oh fuck off Gideon. One day you'll be in the same spot as me and you'll have Mumsy to deal with yourself. I don't know what's worse? Having to explain myself to the peasants or visit the old witch once a week.

George: Now now David, I really must put my foot down, that's not nice. Mumsy is a lovely lady who's been very good for us. If it wasn't for her none of us would be where we are now.

David: Oh shut up Gideon. If it wasn't for Google stealing the limelight, Mumsy would be having to explain why she's never paid tax for all her life!

Watch my amateur attempt at bringing this sketch to life.


I look forward to hearing from you and ultimately being chosen to write for your show.

Many thanks for this wonderful opportunity.

Matt Taylor
Brighton

END OF JANUARY ROUND-UP.

www.youtube.com/user/taylormotm
I'll be honest.... Its been one of the most diabolical weeks of my life! And it all started of by asking for money. I mean what's the harm in that?

Can you spare any change Governor?

You've got to start somewhere. Maybe if all goes to plan I'll be inviting venture capitalists to invest millions into my harebrained schemes. Not that I think they are harebrained of-course! I like to think of them as ingeniously calculated projects designed to make our world a safer and better place.

So you can imagine the knocking my self esteem received after getting 13 thumbs down for asking for money. At least a certain gentleman (Mr. C****** H*****) was kind enough to donate £20; which saved the day and helped keep the wolves at bay...

Hey, I need to ask for money. I've committed myself to running in the Police and Crime Commissioner elections and anyone who's participated in an election knows that elections swallow money like there's no tomorrow!

So if you can spare any change be it £1, £20 or a million – you know where to send it – www.royaltruth.co.uk

VIDEOS & PICTURES...

So my week started of with a collection of videos and pictures. Running a number of blogs as I do, you end up with a large collection of videos and pictures, which having seen the light of day once or twice, lay in storage gathering dust.

It was therapeutic sorting them out and giving them a second lease of life:

MATT TAYLOR IN VIDEOS & PICTURES...
CHRIS SPIVEY IN VIDEOS & PICTURES...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II IN VIDEOS & PICTURES...
DAVID CAMERON IN VIDEOS & PICTURES...
GEORGE OSBORNE IN VIDEOS & PICTURES...
SUSSEX POLICE IN PICTURES...
KATY BOURNE IN VIDEOS...
KATY BOURNE IN PICTURES...

POLICE BASHING...

Plenty of police bashing is always good for the soul. While I'm the first to praise Sussex Police for disregarding health and safety to rescue someone from the cold icy sea off Worthing; I'm also the first to bash Sussex Police when I hear news of their continuing incompetence, corruption and failure.

TEAM SETCHFIELD (MATTER OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE)
KATY BOURNE - SUSSEX POLICE: IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM...
WHO'S STANDING IN THE 2016 PCC ELECTIONS?
BREAKING NEWS: SUSSEX POLICE ARE BANKRUPT.
LETTER OF SUPPORT FROM TEAM SETCHFIELD.
RECORDED LETTER SENT TO MRS KATY BOURNE ON 23rd JUNE 2014

The story that up-set me the most was when Katy Bourne snubbed me further having already blocked me on Twitter and Facebook. My confidence had already taken a battering what with pressures from the tax man, mounting debts and the 13 thumbs down I got begging for money. (Do you think I like having to beg?) But when Katy Bourne said to PPC Watch that no-one had declared their intention to stand against her in the 2016 Police Crime Commissioner elections, I got really upset.

I declared my intention to challenge her three months ago and she knew very well. Hence my response to her snub...

SUSSEX POLICE & CRIME COMMISSIONER KATY BOURNE IS A LIAR...

First we had a pole dancing instructor become Police and Crime Commissioner and now we have a printer wanting to do the same.

At least (thus far) I'm the only PCC candidate with any police experience...

AND THEN THERE WERE THREE...

Before I round it all up; I expect like millions of others out there, we are waiting patiently for Chris Spivey's latest article about Princess Diana. Spivey is promising some pretty explosive fire-works with this one; so much so that with enough PR, it could bring down the British Establishment.

Unable to wait any longer I just couldn't help myself and wrote:

BRIGHTON HIT & RUN; A FALSE FLAG EVENT WRITTEN IN THE STYLE OF CHRISTOPHER D SPIVEY.

Whenever I write anything to do with Chris Spivey its always well received; as was this one. Its just a shame no one has left a message saying what they make of it?

I always thought impersonation is the sincerest form of flattery, but the lack of comments makes me think that I've managed to offend Spivey yet again! Hey hoo... I can't get everything right all the time! (Not that I get much right in the first place!)

Special thanks to Tina Mosher for sending me a link to a youtube video of which I knew nothing about.

THE SHAMEFUL TRUTH OF WAR WORLD II IS ONLY NOW BEING TOLD...

Which brings me onto the question I've been asking of myself since I started in this journey!

WHEN WILL I BE FAMOUS?

ONLY TIME WILL TELL.


www.GuerrillaDemocracy.blogspot.co.uk
www.ShadowSussexPoliceCrimeCommissioner.blogspot.co.uk

Wednesday, 27 January 2016

WHEN WILL I, WILL I BE FAMOUS?

When will I get my picture in the papers?


Tears for Fears once sang that ’Everyone wants to Rule the World,’ and while that may be true in my case, you have to believe me when I say I don't want to be famous for the sake of being famous.

I just imagine I’ll be famous for achieving the goals I’ve set out to achieve, namely to expose the evil over-lords who are raping and murdering not only our planet but our children too.

Once our goal is achieved, there will be a gaping hole left in the centre of Power. This vacuum will have to be filled with something and I plan to be leading the dash to take the place of the arrested dignitaries such as the Prime Minister David Cameron and Her Majesty the Queen.


Did you notice that I used the word “our.” I did because it isn’t just me. I like to count myself alongside many other active campaigners who are striving to achieve the same goal.

I personally just want to lead a simple life in which I earn a healthy living from writing. I’ve already written my debut novel, a sci-fi thriller called The Golden Cube. I’ve got enough material from writing for Guerrilla Democracy News over the last three years to fill five books, I’ve written enough about police corruption to fill a few books too (and I'm looking forward to writing a horror thriller based on the real life stories of satanic child ritual, murder and corruption which I’ve learnt about since taking this journey down the fabled rabbit hole.)


We all have to earn a living, pay the bills, feed the kids and keep the wolves from the door. I’ll be honest with you. I’m at a crisis point in which I’m earning next to nothing, even though I’m working over 50 hours a week. I’ve been turned down for a £18K a year recruitment job, I’ve got a fighting chance for a £35K a year bid writing job and pulling all the stops for a £85K a year Police and Crime Commissioner job.

It's all relative!

If only the world famous Madonna would finance the King Arthur II movie (to rival her ex-husband’s King Arthur movies set for release in 2017) I’d be a multi-millionaire living in LA.



Mind you my ideal scenario would be to get a phone-call from a reputable talent agency from London telling me they've seen my work and love it. After taking me out for lunch and getting me drunk, I sign up with them and go onto become a renowned actor, playwright and movie producer.


I’ll be the first to admit I'm a shameless self publicist. No one else is going to publicise me so I may as well do it myself!


I often hang onto more successful writer’s coat-tails with the goal of feeding of their notoriety.


I aim to shock and my middle name is ’Controversial'. Ian R Crane was right when he described me as a ’Loose-cannon’ and a ’Maverick’. I went to AV5 with the goal of getting my name out there, and it worked. I left knowing everyone knew my name!

We are all our own brand... I love what I’ve done thus far and I like to think I have a small band of fans who like what I’ve done too. Using the awesome ’Feedjit’ application, I get to see which one of my articles is being read and where they are reading it from.


I know I’ve got a loyal reader who lives in Mountain View California, who reads my stuff as soon as its published. I’m quietly flattered that someone from the City of London regularly reads me. (It's good to know the enemy is keeping tabs) and I’m some-what unnerved that a reader in Colchester keeps such close tabs on me, that it seems he or she checks out every webpage I visit! Though most of all, I warmly welcome all my readers from from around the world, notably South Korea!

I’ve even won an award for my film making! (The Bases International Film Award for the Short Amateur category.) It seems as though I’m the only person who’s discovered the joy of iMovie trailer making. It's awesome because it's so easy to make a iMovie trailer for nearly every subject under the Sun.

If you haven't already, why don't you subscribe to my YouTube channel www.youtube.com/user/taylormotm...

I suppose you can think of me a bit like Marmite. You’ll either love me or hate me. I know Sam (renowned scientist) Murray hates me and (while I can’t name anyone) I’m sure there are some people who love me!

No-one likes a Beggar.

With 731 subscribers and a 385 videos uploaded I’m used to a few thumbs down and a few up, but even I’m surprised to the number of thumbs down I’ve got having asked for money.

Since writing about the Alternative View for a few years now I’m come to realise that no-one likes a beggar. Chris Spivey has been criticised hard for asking for donations, as has Ben Fellows who had such a backlash for asking for cash to finance his trip to see the Dali Lama that he’s abandoned social media forever.

I suppose it's the fact that people ask for money under false pretences which really rile people up. Sod it I think. My sister is homeless and a beggar on the street and I’m no different. I’m a beggar in cyber-space and I can’t thank the people enough who’ve throw me the odd £20 and £50 squid here and there.....



I’m looking forward to gaining the recognition and reward for all the hard work I’ve put in. It's frustrating being in a loveless relationship in which my partner pours scorn and criticism on everything I do. I suppose you can think of her as one of the ’Eye’s wide shut’ gang.


If only I could be invited on an Alternative View radio show! The Richie Allen Show, Lou Collin's Show, UK Column, The Kev Baker Show, Red Ice Radio, Windows on the World; there are so many. Perhaps I should just create my own!

I believe I’m doing the right thing and I believe what I’m doing is helping to make a better world for our kids... I’m convinced satanic over-lords are ruling the world and I’m convinced the Hampstead kids are telling the truth and that Gerry and Kate McCann know the truth too.


I didn’t get the recruitment job because my passion for writing was so evident in conversation that my would-be employer thought I’d be better placed concentrating on my writing rather than joining their recruitment firm.

Perhaps they're right. I’m just looking forward to getting my picture in the paper and being paid for what I write!



www.GuerrillaDemocracy.blogspot.co.uk

Saturday, 23 January 2016

Saturday, 16 January 2016

MY BOOK REVIEW FOR 2015 BY MATT TAYLOR.




IS PETER JAMES A SERIAL KILLER?

Having been a loyal and dedicated fan of the world renowned novelist Peter James for many years, I’m profoundly shocked as any reader to contemplate the unimaginable conclusion that Peter James could be a serial killer himself!






Friday, 15 January 2016

Chinese New Year In Hong Kong.

Credit: The List Love
Christmas has been and gone and New Year’s day is a fading memory. You may think the festive season is over but you’re wrong. The Chinese New Year of the Monkey is waiting around the corner and there’s no better place to celebrate it than Hong Kong city.
Probably the most exciting city in the world, Hong Kong is the perfect getaway to beat the rain, snow and chilly winds of January and February, with the added bonus of celebrating the Chinese New Year while you’re there. Enjoying temperatures reaching 20°C at this time of the year, (namely their Winter from December to February) Hong Kong offers everything and more for families, couples or single explorers alike.
Handed over to China in 1997 after 156 years of British colonial rule, Hong Kong offers the best in entertainment, technology, architecture, culture and shopping. With about 7 million people crammed into 1000 square kilometres, it’s ranked up with Brazil as one of the most populated places on Earth, but don’t think you can’t get away from the crowds if you want to.
With a 45 minute boat ride, you can reach the outer-laying Islands, of which Lantua is the biggest, alongside 262 others. Total solitude, peace and quiet. Fine seafront restaurants and views to die for. The South China Sea is a marvel to set your sights on and explore.
Accessible from the mainland district called Kowloon by ferry, taxi or the subway, Hong Kong Island is nothing but amazing. The future is now in Hong Kong. Bustling streets, sky-scrapers, hustle, bustle, character, sight and smells. Hong Kong is an explosion for all your senses. Street corner food stalls and luxurious restaurants. Hong Kong will cater to all your wants and needs. The very first thing any tourist must do is to start at the top and work downwards.
Divided into Hong Kong’s lower, middle and higher levels, either take the Peak Tram to the top of the island or do something different and take a bus. The tram will take you there directly, while on the bus you’ll see a lot more but take longer to arrive. The Peak offers sights across the region. Panorama views guaranteed, though on a cloudy day you’ll be left disappointed for sure. With refreshments and a restaurant to rest and recharge your batteries, it’s a must for any tourist visiting the island.
Hong Kong is truly a marvel of the 21st century which wouldn’t look out-of-place in the 22nd Century. Having booked into your hotel, be it a 5 star hotel or a hostel in any number of Mega City type blocks, hitting Hong Kong’s night life is an adventure in itself. Back on the Kowloon side of Hong Kong, a visit to Temple Street market is an absolute must. Day or night it offers an array of merchandise on sale. Toys, computers, cameras, food, clothes, exotic animals, chickens, birds, snakes; you name it, you’ll find it.

Explore Temple Street market at your leisure. In the evening, street theatre performances will make you stop in your tracks and look on in awe at the finely dressed and heavily made up artists perform their shows. Temple Street market oozes Chinese culture, spirit and character. From Chinese medicine shops, to tarot reading, to massage; every box is ticked and the experience will stay with you forever.
No doubt you’ll be ready for a drink and something to eat. With the British colonial influence evident throughout Hong Kong, you’ll have a choice of whether to visit an authentic Chinese restaurant in which their menus are written in Chinese, which you’ll only know what you have ordered by the accompanying picture, or alternatively one of the many British style pubs and bars which still exist.
From Mad-Dogs, to Pomeroy’s, to Delaney’s, to Ned Kelly’s Last Stand, every nationality is catered for. Hong Kong is a haven for ex-pats from across the world and you’ll never feel far from home by walking into the right bar or pub. Thenonto the Wan-chai district to party the night away. Seedy on one side and respectable on the other, Hong Kong is a den of vice which can easily tempt you to the other side.
Topless bars to strip joints, discos to cocktails bars, it’s easy to have so much fun that time runs away and before you know it, you’ll be exiting a dark night club into the bright morning sunshine. After all the hustle, bustle, noise and throng of people, you’ll be in desperate need to stretch your legs and get some space.
There’s nothing easier than jumping on a boat and getting away from it all. As close as the other side of Hong Kong Island, to the outer islands only 30-40 minutes away, peace and solitude is always in touching distance. Lantua Island’s biggest tourist attraction is the humongous Buddha at the top of the hill at the Po Lin Monastery. Attracting thousands of visitors a day it’s the perfect excuse to put on your trekking boots and go for a healthy trek up a hill.
Smaller islands such as Lamma and Cheung Chau are great to visit for the same reason. The beaches are often deserted but always covered in fine golden sand. Go for a healthy walk and hit a seaside restaurant for a delicious fish meal before catching the high-speed boat home. Share a bottle of wine as you watch the Sun go down. The images of the South China Sea bathed in the setting reds and oranges of the setting Sun are intoxicating and serene; beautiful and surreal.
Why not book yourself a junk boat for the day? Cheap and easy to hire, it’s perfect for families or a big group of friends. With everything you need served on board, the skipper will drop anchor at any island you wish to stretch your legs and explore, before sailing you back to where you set off.
The shopping is second to none. With all the well-known brands around the world tendering their wares, Hong Kong is the perfect place to pick up a fake Rolex, an Armani suit, the latest Sony camera, tablet or just a finely craved Chinese chess set. Everything is on sale, tacky, beautifully craved, hi-spec or just fun. Shopping in Hong Kong is both cheap, expensive, fun and exciting. You’ll be sure to find products you never knew existed, wanted or items that should never be sold at all.
Shopping, food, night life, tourist attractions and shows. Visit Macau and with a bit of luck you can return home with a fortune. After all the British were not the only colonial powers to get their hands on the South China Sea islands. Portugal did the same and now Macau is considered the Las Vegas of the region.
Happy Chinese New Year, good fortune to all and happiness for 2016. The Chinese peopleare famed for their belief in good fortune and the help of their ancestors and generous spirits. Traditionally celebrated as a Lunar New Year from between 21 January to 20 February, people across Asia come together to sweep away ill-fortune and make way for good luck.
Walking the streets of any Asian city be it Hong Kong, Singapore or Bangkok, windows and doors will be decorated with red colour paper-cuts and couplets with popular themes of good fortune or happiness, wealth, and longevity. Watch out for the street parades, including larger than life dragons, fireworks, firecrackers and copious amount of toy money in red paper envelopes given in appreciation and honour for their deities and ancestors.
All in all, Hong Kong is the perfect destination for the adventurous traveller. If you haven’t been already you really must, and if you have been, it’s always good to return to see what’s different in this ever-changing city. Hong Kong really is the most exciting city in the world and there is no better time to visit than during the Chinese New Year.

Saturday, 9 January 2016

From King Arthur to Lord Toby Jug: in praise of the eccentric independent.

The eccentric candidate represents the best of British bloody-mindedness. Long may he stand at the back

.

No election night is complete without a man dressed as King Arthur waving a plastic sword as the result is read out. Eccentricity is the bedrock of British democracy. The freedom of a madman to waste £500 to get on the ballot is precious. On these islands, we have a right to rave. And sometimes what we rant about is quite revealing.
I’ve been fascinated by eccentric independent candidates ever since as a teenager I met Mr Mark Ellis, a perennial independent running against EU domination and casual littering. He used to patrol Sevenoaks high street with a shopping trolley, collecting rubbish. A profile in the local newspaper revealed that he slept on two chairs pushed together in his living room, and that he shared his house with a duck. Mr Ellis’s platform was a mix of conspiracy theory and a commitment to public service — and it’s that slightly misdirected desire to help others that informs the best of the fringe candidates.
Now that I have moved to Brighton, I’m spoilt for choice in eccentric independents. Brightonians are just children with adult tastes. Charlotte Rose, a ‘high-class courtesan’ from Exeter, is using her Brighton Pavilion candidacy to get people to talk more honestly about sex. ‘Sex is the second biggest human drive, after survival,’ she writes in her manifesto, ‘and yet it is ignored in politics.’ Ms Rose has clearly never been to the Strangers Bar at 2 a.m. She also wonders if the best-qualified people to teach sex education in schools might be professional ‘experts’, by which she means prostitutes. I for one would have matured much faster if my biology classes had been taught by Miss Whiplash and her human ashtray.
On the ballot next door in Hove is Joe Neilson, ‘OAP and retired Amazon explorer’. Matt Taylor, running in the same constituency, is opposed to ‘street drinkers and heroin addicts’ — although, lest we think he is a reactionary, he adds, ‘My sister and nieces are street drinkers and heroin addicts.’ And, ‘having spoken extensively with my sister on this issue’, he thinks it’s time to stop selling drinks to people likely to ‘indulge in anti-social behaviour’. Which could be a dig at his sister, or at Nigel Farage. Like many eccentric independents, Mr Taylor’s manifesto is quite rational when it sticks to local issues but falls apart when attention turns to the national scene: ‘I am the only politician in 1,500 years to conjure up the spirit of King Arthur II in a British general election. Legend says that King Arthur will return in the nation’s hour of need. The hour is Now.’
Wrong, Mr Taylor. King Arthur has already returned: he is running in Salisbury. King Arthur Uther Pendragon, a white-haired druid formerly known as John Timothy Rothwell, discovered that he was a reincarnation of the English hero in the mid-1980s. He ran for Salisbury in 2010 and came second from last, with 257 votes.
The great pioneer of the eccentric independent candidacy was Lt Cdr William George Boaks DSC (1904–1986). This former Royal Navy officer stood for his first seat in 1951 on the ‘Admiral’ ticket (Association of Democratic Monarchists Representing All Women). He intended to run against Prime Minister Clement Attlee but mistakenly filled out the papers for Walthamstow East rather than Walthamstow West. Later, he took the title Public Safety Democratic Monarchist White Resident — which sounds racist but, he insisted, was simply an accurate signifier of who he was and what he stood for. Lt Cdr Boaks was obsessed with road safety. Frustrated at the ballot box, he sometimes resorted to direct action, pushing a pram full of bricks repeatedly across zebra crossings and sitting on a deckchair in the middle of the motorway.
How self-aware is the eccentric independent? The Official Monster Raving Loony Party was really a vehicle for satire rather than genuine looniness: its founder, Screaming Lord Sutch, was a troubled man who sadly hanged himself in 1999. The Loony Party’s modern heir is the Eccentric Party, run by Lord Toby Jug. Its policies are sensible stuff: putting super-glue in lip balm to reduce obesity and fitting a coin slot meter to mobile phones to reduce their use. Immigration will be slashed by putting up photos of Katie Hopkins and Russell Brand at airports. And while Al Murray’s run in South Thanet is left-wing activism dressed up as ’aving a laugh, Lord Jug’s contempt for all ideologies is palpable. ‘We’ll nationalise crime to make sure it doesn’t pay,’ says the wickedly funny manifesto.
Some of the new parties on the block, however, are deadly serious. Liberty GB might be a party rather than a clutch of independents, but I’m counting it among the eccentrics because its shrill denunciation of Islam smacks of classic conspiracy thinking. The name sounds like a racing-car team. I don’t know why parties of the far right conform to a lower-middle-class aesthetic, but Liberty’s leader, Paul Weston, definitely looks like he could do you a good deal on a lawnmower. ‘Was Germanwings pilot a Muslim convert?’ asks their website, the tawdry source for all your Islamophobic needs.
Yes, the men standing at the back dressed as King Arthur really are a good barometer of how a significant minority of people feel about modern life. Many of them think there’s a plot to ruin Britain; accusations of graft or paedophilia among the establishment are common. And the anti-Westminster spirit is high: there are parties demanding a separate parliament for Cornwall, Wessex and Yorkshire. Matt Taylor thinks Brighton should have its own currency. Of course, none of this should come as a surprise — the very nature of the eccentric independent campaign is opposition to big parties and business as usual. But the aggressive ‘anti’ mood is overwhelming. Where has the positive, life-enhancing spirit of, say, the Natural Law Party gone? For those who have forgotten, those were the yogic fliers in the 1990s who said they could end crime by bouncing about the room on their knees. And, to be fair, crime rates did fall.
But even in bleaker times, the eccentric independent still represents the best of British bloody-mindedness — the ‘I will have my say’ attitude of Speakers’ Corner and the far end of a thousand pub bars. And the fact that ‘serious’ politicians have to share a platform with them on election night, to smile politely and shake the hand of King Arthur Uther Pendragon, is a necessary corrective to their oversized egos.

Monday, 4 January 2016

Be SMART About Your Goals In 2016.

Credit: Innovate Gov
It’s that time of year again, a new year with a whole new selection of New Year resolutions. The time of year we all look forward to with fresh hope and expectation. The year it all happens, the year in which our dreams come true, it’s the year we have all been waiting for. It’s the year we kick off with good intentions and dreams, the year our seeds grow to fruition.
Be it losing weight and getting into the dress bought at last year’s January sales, to getting the job promotion, to finding love, to ticking that thing off your bucket list you have been meaning to tick of for the last twenty years. Every year we start off with the determination that it will happen. Nothing will get in our way this time.
As we sing ‘Auld Lang Syne’ in merriment with our friends and family, we’ll smile and nod with satisfaction, 2016 is the year it happens. We have made a promise to ourselves, a solemn promise we must not break. We have an obligation to make sure it happens no matter what obstacles present themselves.
The big question soon looms; how will this year be different to all the others? There’s no use in kidding ourselves. Most New Year resolutions only last until the morning, after which they are easily forgotten as we nurse our weary heads. At best they’ll last until the end of January, most are soon forgotten as the winter winds take hold and we slip into old habits as comfort against the cold.
Zest For Life is here to help you stay positive and reach your goals this year. With nothing more easy than a stroke of your finger, you can scroll down the Zest for Life blog and get all the inspiration and motivation you’ll ever need to succeed. Packed full of positivity, the Zest for Life Magazine is your one stop for all your positive quotations, bright ideas and good advice. You’ll never read a negative comment or feel a negative vibe, and it’s about to get even better, the first issue of Zest For Life is being released at the end of the month!
Here’s some good advice – Be Smart! 2016 is the year to be SMART, and being SMART is a tried and tested Life Coaching technique which anyone can apply and utilise:
The Smart Model.
As the New Year kicks off we’ll all have a whole new set of goals to pursue and achieve. Meet any Life Coach today and they’ll tell you the best way is the SMART way.
S. Specific.
M. Measurable.
A. Attainable.
R. Relevant.
T. Timely.
It’s an easy acronym which we can all remember. To be smart in our thinking and goal achieving, we need to know specifically what our goal is. It’s all very well saying we want to lose weight, but how much weight? It’s all very well saying we want a new job, but what job?
Only by breaking the goal down into its specifics can we get a better and smarter idea of how to achieve it. So rather than saying I want to lose weight, be smart and give yourself the goal of losing 2lbs a week. Now you have a smarter idea of what you need to achieve and it ties in nicely with M.
It needs to be ‘Measurable.’ It’s no use saying you want to be more successful when you haven’t got a measure to determine how successful you are week on week. So if your goal is to lose weight, only by being specific as to how much you want to lose, can you measure how much you lose. 2lbs a week is not only specific, it’s measurable and it also brings us neatly onto the A.
It’s ‘Attainable.’ I want to lose more, run faster, think quicker, do more, or do less. Our goals must be attainable otherwise they’ll never be attained. Booking a place on Britain’s Olympic team in time for Brazil 2016, is unattainable. While I hate to break the news, you most probably won’t make it past the first day auditions for The Apprentice or Britain’s Got Talent.
However, losing 2lbs a week is attainable if you swap the take-away diet for fresh fruit and vegetables. It’s attainable to win a new client a week, rather than winning the best sales-person’s of the year award in 12 month’s time. Shoot for the stars by all means. Go for it with a passion, gusto and determination. Just keep in mind your own talents, responsibilities and limitations. Your goals and aspirations must be attainable otherwise you are condemning yourself to failure and misery as yet another New Year’s resolution bites the dust.
Make your goals ‘Relevant.’ Only if your goals are relevant to you will they be achieved. If you are losing weight to please your partner, you’ll have less chance of losing weight than if you are doing it for yourself. Being smart is being honest with yourself. Why do you want to achieve this goal? What is the objective? What will the goal ultimately achieve for me?
If you want to progress at work and you need new skills to make it happen, then you can do the courses to help you achieve this. However, if you want to be a better sales person, it’s not smart to take a course in administration. It’s no use taking a cookery class when all you want to do is get stuck in with the garden. Which brings us swiftly onto Time.
T for Timely. Give yourself a deadline to make it happen. Be smart in deciding what that deadline will be. You’re not going to drop two dress sizes in two weeks. Be realistic and give yourself three months. A plan isn’t a plan without a deadline. Be flexible. If it looks like the deadline is looming and you are going to miss it, change the deadline rather than dumping the whole thing.
Only you can achieve your own goals and aspirations. Go easy on yourself. Life often gets in the way of our best laid plans. You have help all around you, from friends, family and colleagues. The Zest for Life Magazine is always at your finger-tips to give you an added lift and much needed positive boost.
Good luck with all your New Years resolutions. 2016 is a great year to be alive and a great year to achieve it all. Happy New Year and may all your New Year resolution’s come true.