Hello and thank you to Chris Cooke for inviting me.
May I start of by welcoming Tony Armstrong as the latest Police and Crime Commissioner candidate. Better late than never, Mr Armstrong.
Out of 1.5 million residents in Sussex, I've said all along, God help us if this is all we've got and its good to see someone else step up to the plate and be counted.
But don't be fooled. Anyone could do this job. In this room alone I reckon all of us could do the job just as well as any of us here. As far as i'm concerned, you only need THREE i'S to do the job. We've all got two i's but its the third thats the most important.
INTEGRITY – INTELLIGENCE – INDEPENDENCE.
I'm the first to admit I was 15 years old when I just read a novel from cover to cover. Until then I spent my head between the covers of the 2000ad comic.
But this is where I got my INTEGRITY. Where I got the moral fibre to do the job. I've got the spirit of Judge Dredd pumping through my heart and I believe no one should be above the LAW.
INTELLIGENCE, I once took an IQ test on a iphone application and scored 143. I checked the results and to my surprise saw I'm a genius. Even I've got to admit the iphone application was seriously flawed!!!
INDEPENDENCE is a must. This whole idea of Police and Crime Commissioners was created in the spirit of independence. One of the biggest complaint of these elections is the politicization. We need free thinking Commissioners who follow their own instincts rather than the party line.
My big plan for policing in Sussex is for the community to take charge of low-level crime in their neighbourhoods, freeing the police to concentrate on serious crime, ensuring quick, effective and efficient response and convictions.
Everything you want to know can be found in my Crime Plan, free to Download from my www.sosparty.co.uk website.
I am serious about combating corruption, bad practice and incompetence in Sussex Police. I want to weed out the bad police officers and attract the good. I want to see a clean police force, a tolerant police force and the best police force.
And now for my big announcement: I've been on the campaign trail since April and the big message I've heard is that Sussex is a Conservative heart-land. Regardless of who the Conservative candidate is, they'll win this election hands down.
Its with this is mind that I'd be a fool to throw my £5,000 deposit down the drain. But I'm not going to allow stupid bureaucracy stand in the way of my perfect job.
You won't see my name on the ballot paper. I'm introducing a new concept in politics called GUERILLA DEMOCRACY.
If you want to vote for me, all you'll have to do is spoil your ballot papers by writing SOS on it. All spoilt ballot papers are counted and if by a miracle there are more spoilt papers than any other, they can sort through them and count how many with SOS on them.
So, if you want a clean police force, if you want a tolerant police force and if you want the best police force, VOTE FOR ME TO BE YOUR SUSSEX POLICE AND CRIME COMMISSIONER...